The Case for Supporting Caregivers’ Unique Decisions
Normally, all is well in caregiver support groups. People help and comfort one another, offer advice based on what’s worked for them in a similar situation, or just simply offer a much-appreciated hug — virtual or otherwise. This much-needed, well-meaning support can go off-track when the debate over family home care vs. facility care comes into play. The arguments for and against these choices can be intense, something that only increases the already huge load of unearned guilt that caregivers often carry.
Decisions, decisions: Caregiving decisions are nearly always a matter of trade-offs. Balancing the benefits and risks of each scenario and then finally deciding — often through our tears — that this (whatever “this” might be) is what must be done.
And, there’s the rub:
“If you love someone, you won’t put them in a care facility”
People who post this type of advice mean well. Perhaps, they live in a locale where nursing homes are truly neglectful, whether due to lack of funding, lack of staffing, or both. Or they may have seen or heard about poor facility care in the past when a friend or family member resided in one — all legitimate concerns.
Then, of course, there are people who have unrealistic expectations…
