How to Handle Family Members Who Won’t Help With Caregiving
Dear Candid Caregiver (Carol): I’m the only adult child who lives in our parents’ community, therefore by default I am the family caregiver, and yes, I resent it. It’s not the parent care that I resent, but the fact that I have three siblings and they won’t even recognize what I do, let alone really try to help, is endlessly grating on me.
I didn’t mind at first when I was just stopping in to see our parents a couple of times a week after work to make sure things were okay, but now, I feel like I have a second job as a caregiver. Mom is 78, and in decent health physically, but she’s developed some cognitive problems. Dad is 83 and has had two strokes and is at risk for more. Who is taking our parents to the doctor regularly? Me. Who is making sure that groceries are picked up? Who is doing their cleaning and much of their cooking? Me. Who is on call for every emergency? Me.
It’s like this. I understand that my siblings would have to travel to help Mom and Dad so being here every day isn’t feasible…Dear Resentful Randi: I’m sorry that your siblings are being not only dense but self-absorbed and selfish. It’s either that or they are in serious denial. Apparently, convincing themselves…
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “For anyone having to walk the last segments of life with a loved one, read this.” …Delores
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