Caregiving Can Take a Toll on Your Marriage
Dear Candid Caregiver (Carol): My husband and I have been married 25 years and have raised two children. Just as we were thinking that we’d be able to travel because the kids are old enough to be on their own, my in-laws started having one health problem after another. I know that this isn’t my husband’s fault, and I also understand that if it were my parents I’d be scrambling with trying to help them out. However, I do think that my husband should pressure his siblings to do more. Yes, his siblings live out of town and we live in the same community, but his siblings aren’t that far away. His parents are still in their home so we must get groceries, my husband does the yard work, and, of course, we are on call in case someone falls or gets sick. I think that his siblings would help more if they were cornered, but my husband doesn’t like to make waves. Well, he’s making waves with me now because he won’t compromise enough to confront them. I don’t want our marriage to deteriorate after all of these years, but this is causing serious stress on both of (us), and resentment in me. I feel better just unloading to you but I’d like to know how others deal with this. — Resentful Wife
Dear Resentful Wife: My condolences about the tough patch you and your husband are going through. From reading your last sentence, I’ve gathered that you know that parental caregiving can present considerable challenges to many marriages. Still, that offers little comfort to you.
When our lives get thrown off-track, most of us need to regroup. That’s OK. Part of that regrouping may mean reconstructing, with our partner…
Continue reading on HealthCentral for the full column on how caregiving can affect marriages:
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “For anyone having to walk the last segments of life with a loved one, read this.” …Delores
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