Can Caregivers be Subject to Abuse by Their Care Receivers?
When we think of domestic abuse in a family where elders are cared for, we generally think that the elder is the most likely person to suffer abuse. Statistics would probably prove this to be a fact. However, there are many caregivers who can truthfully say that they are emotionally, verbally, and even occasionally physically abused by their care receiver.
Being in a vulnerable state of health doesn’t necessarily turn a person who was historically abusive to family members into a sweet lamb. Even the best of us can get cranky when we don’t feel well. The frustrations of dementia can be even harder to cope with than physical pain. Good people can become hard to deal with when faced with these issues.
But we’re talking about something different here. A mother who was always controlling, verbally abusive and a put-down expert to her daughter is quite likely to continue that behavior even if the daughter, who is probably on some level still trying to “earn” love from the parent, becomes her mother’s caregiver. More probably, the mother’s nasty personality issues, perhaps helped along with a history of having been abused herself or by a type of mental illness, will still be abusive to the daughter. She will still manipulate, scold, complain, put down, and in general try to make the caregiving daughter feel like nothing is good enough.
The father who beat his children when they were growing up…
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “For anyone having to walk the last segments of life with a loved one, read this.” …Delores
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