Caregiving’s Impossible Choices Can Lead to Endless Second-Guessing
Dear Carol: Mom is 84 and was in good health until she had a stroke while visiting us. Even though we knew that she is against extreme measures being taken to keep her alive, she was still conscious though very confused, so we called 9-1-1. She was transported to the hospital and now it’s doubtful that she’ll recover enough to go home. If she spends months or years in a nursing home in this condition, I’ll never forgive myself, yet at the time, it felt like our only choice. How do I make peace with myself and regain confidence in making future decisions for her care? – RT
Dear RT: Frequently, caregivers must simply choose between two bad situations, hoping that we are choosing the least damaging. I’m so sorry that you had to face one of the worst examples, and I’m even sorrier that you’ll likely second-guess this decision for a very long time. It’s part of the territory. As for the future…
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “For anyone having to walk the last segments of life with a loved one, read this.” …Delores
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