Caregiver Venting Healthy, but Choose Listeners Thoughtfully
Dear Carol: I’m a caregiver to my mom who has dementia and I also work full-time. A woman at work and I have become friends. Last week, I told her how hard it is to take care of Mom who is still in her home because she doesn’t want to move. My friend listened briefly and then said that I need to force Mom into a care home. I think she was trying to give me a solution, but it’s not that easy. What I needed from her was for her to just listen. It would be different if she knew of some resources, but she doesn’t. Why would she offer such obvious advice? – TW
Dear TW: People like to feel helpful, so they offer what they see as a solution even if they’re just stating the obvious. As you said in your question, you just needed a friend who would listen and maybe validate…
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “For anyone having to walk the last segments of life with a loved one, read this.” …Delores
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