New Caregivers: Tips on Caring for Elderly Parents
I have interacted with countless professional and informal caregivers over the years, and I’ve noticed two prominent patterns that characterized my own experiences and those that others have shared with me. It seems that family caregivers generally earn their job title in one of two ways. The first is what I call “the sneak up” and the second is “the crisis.”
Whether caregiving has slowly crept into your daily life or you’re suddenly facing difficult decisions following a serious health scare, use these pointers as a guide for caring for an elderly parent.
Sneak-Up Mode: My caregiving journey began after an elderly neighbor’s spouse passed away and he needed a bit of assistance and company. This “assistance” slowly grew into a five-year stint of elder care that started in his own home and eventually ended in a skilled nursing facility. After my neighbor passed away, my duties were quickly replaced by the ever-increasing needs of six of my own family members. Before I knew it, running a few errands and stopping by to assist with chores from time to time had taken over my life.
I can clearly remember the day when it finally hit me that I had become a full-time caregiver. If I had had more experienced family caregivers to communicate with, I may have realized earlier on how much this role had evolved and crowded out other aspects of my life. But would this knowledge have helped me understand that I needed to rebalance my priorities and take better care of myself? I don’t know.
Hindsight is interesting, but it doesn’t change the past. My caregiving years occurred at a time when taking on this role wasn’t big news. You just did what you could to help your loved one(s) and figured things out as you went. There wasn’t a great deal of official or casual support available back then, but fortunately that is changing.
The Crisis: My dad was the only person I cared for whose needs didn’t gradually increase over time. He was feeling the effects of age, but he was still relatively independent. That is, until he underwent brain surgery to correct a World War II injury. The procedure was supposed to
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