How to Overcome Feelings That Prevent You From Visiting Someone in a Care Facility
People cite numerous reasons for why they hate visiting care facilities. Some can’t stand funky smells, others find the sight of disengaged, listless seniors depressing, and most feel guilty over the fact that they’d rather spend time anywhere else.
The truth is that most of us experience some level of discomfort over the thought of visiting a skilled nursing facility. This aversion is very similar to the widespread dislike of hospitals. These are places where people go when they are very ill and require a high level of care. For families who have loved ones living in nursing homes, this discomfort can often get in the way of providing proper support. However, nursing home residents are most in need of regular companionship, support, and advocacy. If you’re struggling to establish and stick to a visiting schedule with a loved one in a skilled nursing facility, it’s important to identify what’s holding you back so you can find ways to move past it.
Reasons Why People Avoid Visits
Unpleasant Smells: Let’s tackle the smell issue first since I’ve even heard this excuse from people who have never darkened the door of a nursing home. Incontinence is an unfortunate part of aging and various illnesses, but in a quality care setting, unpleasant odors should be fleeting. Accidents happen, especially with seniors who require the highest level of long-term care available.
A good skilled nursing facility should handle incontinence incidents quickly and thoroughly. If any senior living setting consistently smells of human waste, or even cleaning products, this could be a clue that there are staffing or procedural issues. For example, there may not be enough aides to regularly assist with toileting and changing residents, leading to recurring accidents that are not handled in a timely manner. This could be a red flag for you to check into how good the care is overall.
A care facility may carry the scent of older individuals (known as nonenal), but the odor inside should never be consistently unpleasant (often this “smell is imagined because people think they should smell it). However, since a normal odor would be a telling indicator of the quality of care a senior is receiving, it’s important to visit…
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “For anyone having to walk the last segments of life with a loved one, read this.” …Delores
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