Second-Guessing Ourselves Is Part of the Caregiving Experience
Dear Carol: Over years of caring for my husband who had a combination of vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s, I found myself gradually becoming less a wife and more a caregiver. I mourned the change, but reality demanded that I do my best considering the circumstances. Last year, I had him admitted to a memory care facility for his safety, though I still spent most of each day with him. He passed peacefully three months ago. The mad scramble of legal and practical demands has settled down and the people who were so sympathetic after he passed have gone on with their lives. I’m left ruminating over that time and second-guessing nearly every step I made as his caregiver. I know I did my best, yet I feel I should have done better. I’m not asking you to fix this so much as just feeling a need to share how heartbroken and guilt-ridden I am. I miss him terribly and would love a do-over. – HL
Dear HL: I’m so sorry about your husband’s passing and sad about all you’ve been through. No one can know what caring for someone with dementia is like unless they’ve done it. Even then, each of us is having a unique experience due to personal…
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN: The premium incontinence brand caregivers love – Now Available on Amazon. Trial packs
Check out Dr. Leslie Kernisan’s free training webinar How to Help Resistant Aging Parents and consider joining this amazingly supportive group! Better Health While Aging presents Helping Our Older Parents:
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “For anyone having to walk the last segments of life with a loved one, read this.” …Delores
