Caregivers Coping with the Stigma of Dementia
People stare. Most are not unkind, they are just curious. Yet when someone “different” from the norm becomes part of their environment, they often gawk without thinking about or understanding how this affects others.
Anyone who has cared for a disabled child or has a visible disability of their own knows this. However, people who care for an elder with dementia may have more difficulty coping with the stares of the public because the person they are caring for was once their dignified father or charismatic mother. The pain of seeing others stare, not knowing how this person was robbed of his or her cognitive abilities, has the potential to bring out the defensive protector that lies within each of us.
Dementia Constantly Throws Us Curve-Balls
In addition to this public pressure, when I used to take my father to his frequent doctor’s appointments at the local clinic, I was also faced with the challenge of not knowing which version of Dad I would be escorting.
Dad’s dementia descended, full-blown, overnight following a surgery. He was a dignified intellectual, who made it his life’s work to be considerate and caring to others. But now he was suddenly capable of becoming a spectacle at a moment’s notice. When Dad was sleepy and I was wheeling him into the clinic, he was basically ignored. I could take him to his appointments in the para-transit bus, they would wheel him off and I would be on my own with Dad in the clinic. A sleepy Dad was a quiet Dad, so he didn’t stir much interest.
Sometimes he was awake enough to know what we were doing, but those times were fairly…
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN: The premium incontinence brand caregivers love – Now Available on Amazon. Trial packs
Check out Dr. Leslie Kernisan’s free training webinar How to Help Resistant Aging Parents and consider joining this amazingly supportive group! Better Health While Aging presents Helping Our Older Parents:
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “For anyone having to walk the last segments of life with a loved one, read this.” …Delores
