Managing Finances, Insurance, and Appointments for Aging Parents Exhausting
Dear Carol: My parents are in their 80s and live nearby. I manage their finances and medications, take them to medical appointments, and until recently, was stopping by twice a week. Phone calls kept us connected on other days. Recently, Dad had a mild heart attack, and I’ve also noticed changes in Mom’s memory. These changes mean that I need to go over daily to check on them. I have two brothers who visit our parents maybe once a month. I’m trying to make them understand that I need more help. We all work full-time. I’d like one of my brothers, a CPA, to take over the finances, and the other to take care of the medication merry-go-round with doctors, pharmacies, and insurance companies. But no, they are too busy, so I need to “suck it up.” I’m exhausted yet they act like I’m being petty. Any suggestions? – LD
Dear LD: You are not being petty. People who aren’t involved in the daily nuts and bolts of caregiving can’t comprehend the amount of effort that goes into the administrative and practical work of caregiving. Often, as in your case, they appear unwilling to try. Managing your parents’ Social Security, Medicare plans, insurance payments, taxes, and normal bills can take significant time. Then there is the even bigger issue of…
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