4 Things to Consider Before Moving Aging Parents in With You
Decades ago, it was fairly common to have grandparents living with family and it often worked well. It did for my family. My parents built a new house that could accommodate all the different generations and afforded some privacy for all. Grandma moved in, and the arrangement worked. My mom did not work outside the home, so there was nearly always someone home with Grandma. I was also a born caregiver and gladly did what I could to help with both my toddler sister and my grandmother.
These days, having an aging loved one move in is still an option for some families, but it has become more complicated. Multi-generational living can have serious implications, and there are a number of factors that are often overlooked that must be taken into consideration first.
4 Things to Consider Before Moving Aging Parents in With You
- Past and Future Relationships: To avoid potential issues when an elderly parent moves in, it is important to reflect on their relationships with each member of your household. If your husband has never gotten along with your mother, it is highly unlikely that their relationship would change for the better after she moves in. The same applies if you have had a historically troubled relationship with your mother. You may have the best intentions, but forcing a relationship for any reason is guaranteed to backfire.
Even if your family dynamic has been largely positive in the past, try to anticipate potential changes that could result from this decision. How could moving Dad affect your marriage? Will your elder be able to tolerate living with active children? Should the kids expect that Grandpa is in charge when Mom and Dad aren’t home, or should they be taught that they will be assuming the role of caregiver?
It is crucial to have realistic expectations of everyone involved, including yourself. These considerations will help you determine how intergenerational living will affect the entire family dynamic. - Current and Future Care Needs:
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