How Caregiving Can Help Us Rethink the Meaning of Motherhood
To me, the definition of a mother is someone who nurtures. Yes, carrying a child in your womb for months and then giving birth creates a lifelong bond, but I feel it’s the unconditional support of a child throughout life that defines this role.
Many children face significant challenges as they grow up—some more than others. Even so, when a child knows there is someone they can always count on during difficult times and share wonderful times with, their development and quality of life are significantly enhanced. This nurturing presence is symbolized by motherhood, but it does not necessarily need to come from one’s biological mother to be meaningful. Each family is unique, and true mothering can be provided by anyone—a birth mother, an adoptive mother, a stepmother, a grandmother, an aunt, even a father.
Learning to appreciate those who mothered us during our formative years and finding forgiveness in our hearts for mothers who faltered in their duties, either occasionally or chronically, can help us come to terms with these influential relationships. This is especially important for adult children who are currently providing care for their mothers or anticipate assuming this role in the near future.
Forgiving Those Who Weren’t Nurturing Mothers
Growing up with a mother who was absent, neglectful or abusive has a lasting effect on a child. The cause of this mistreatment may stem from mental illness, emotional scars from Mom’s own childhood or a self-centeredness that is intrinsic to her personality. If the children of these women are fortunate, they may have found a more appropriate maternal figure in…
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