10 Common Guilt-Producing Caregiver Thoughts

Wouldn’t it be nice to be a family caregiver who never gets frustrated and is an eternal optimist? Maybe there are some like that out there. If you are one of them, I applaud your emotional strength and resilience. However, many of us who have provided care for aging and ill loved ones do not fall into that category. I know I don’t.

Each day, we face new challenges and try, once again, to solve those that keep recurring. Being a caregiver is hard work, and it is impossible to keep a level head at all times. Moments of sadness, frustration and anger can easily get the best of us and cause our thoughts to take a rather dark turn. Sometimes they can leave us mired in guilt, wondering, “Did I really just think that?”

It’s important to remember that these negative thoughts are a completely normal reaction to a stressful and sometimes thankless situation. Rather than guilting yourself for how you feel, the key to getting past these thoughts is understanding that you’re not the only one who experiences them. Here’s a sampling of common “caregiver confessions” that I’ve heard, and that at times I’ve felt myself.

Difficult Caregiver Thoughts
I have no life of my own and I’m sick of it.
Mom/Dad tries to control everything I do—it’s exhausting…

Continue reading on agingcare for validation that it’s okay to have less than charitable thoughts:

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Darlene Fuchs, Author of Get in the Boat: “Your shared stories are deeply moving and relatable, reflecting the varied emotions and challenges of caregiving for aging loved ones. “Minding Our Elders” serves as a poignant and invaluable resource, offering support and connection to caregivers on their journey.”