Daughter Wonders if Widowed Dad Should Live with Family or Move to Assisted Living
Dear Carol: I’m a 43-year-old woman, married with two kids in middle school. We’re grieving my mother’s recent death and trying to figure out how to help Dad adjust. He’s physically healthy, but lonely. He’s slipping a bit regarding memory, but that could be from grief. Yet, my grandma, his mother, had Alzheimer’s, so we’re concerned. We’re strongly leaning toward having him move in with us for now. We’d welcome the extra help since my husband and I have returned to our offices, and the kids love their grandpa. Still, I’m not sure how we’d handle it if Dad develops dementia. Would it be better to encourage assisted living now rather than moving him there down the road? How do these cases usually play out? – WD
Dear WD: My condolences on the loss of your mom. Your family is grieving, so making a big decision like moving your dad in with you would be better left for later. Still, your feeling that your dad needs you now has merit, and likely being around the children and feeling useful could help him recover. All I can do is offer some pros and cons and suggest that…
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Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories:
“An inspiring read for caregivers! Minding Our Elders is a series of stories about caregiving. But it is much more than that. It’s a book that helps us view aging and community through the lens of someone well versed in eldercare. Author Carol Bradley Bursack has been a caregiver for a neighbor and six elderly members of her family. These experiences made her the perfect person to interview and share the stories of friends and acquaintances. Through crisp writing and a sharp focus, we enter the lives of those struggling to care for loved ones with dementia and other age-related illnesses. As I read Minding Our Elders, I felt myself filling up with both appreciation and admiration for those who adopt the caregiving role. In addition, I was struck with the inherent value Carol sees in our elders. This is a well-written book that will stir your heart!” …Ann C
