To Learn About Your Aging Parents’ Wishes, Nurture Your Connection
Dear Carol: I’m a new reader, so while you’ve probably answered this before, maybe you’d still help me out. My mom is 81 and has been happily living alone in her condominium. She’s still good mentally and compared to most people her age, quite healthy. However, age matters and I think that we should discuss what she wants to do if/when her health declines. Still, she’s an independent person, so I feel like I’m intruding if I bring up the topic. Mom’s smart and has done the legal work, but we haven’t discussed living preferences or when I should step in with her finances. Can you help me out? – KD
Dear KD: Thanks for asking. Everyone’s situation has unique aspects, but even if that weren’t the case, new readers come on board all the time. Additionally, what I discuss in one column may not stick if it’s not pertinent to a reader at the time, yet they’ll ask about it later. You’re starting with the most important aspect in place and that is respecting your mom’s right to self-determination for as long as she has the ability to make decisions. Nurture the relationship that you already seem to have with your mom. In general, I advise people to start out by…
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “For anyone having to walk the last segments of life with a loved one, read this.” …Delores
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