New Year’s Resolution for Caregivers: Reframe Guilt as Regret
Dear Carol: Once upon a time, I closed out each year with satisfaction and looked forward with optimism to the next. Now, after taking care of my parents who both recently died after years of living with dementia, I’m stuck. I know I did my best for them, but I can’t purge the guilt for my failures. My refusing to move away from my guilt is affecting my marriage, yet I can’t seem to help it. Before you say it, yes, I’m starting therapy, but I also need some caregiver comfort. You’ve lost loved ones who were in your care. Any words of wisdom? – PF
Dear PF: Big hug. Providing care for your parents during their last years has changed you, so it will take time to reacclimate yourself to life after caregiving. Part of this process is learning to balance the normal but seemingly conflicting emotions of grief and relief. Another piece is processing guilty feelings from perceived failures. It sounds as if …
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose…I don’t want it to end.” …Craig William Dayton, Film Composer
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN – the Top-Rated incontinence brand from Italy. Now Available on Amazon.
Support a caregiver or jump-start discussion in support groups with real stories – for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol
