Some Tips If You Suspect Abuse in Your Parent’s Retirement Home or Facility

I think most of us approach the idea of sharing the care of an elder with a lot of trepidation. We have cared for them with one-on-one loving attention. We know their history, their preferences, their tempers, and their needs. Bringing others, no matter how experienced, into the equation is counter-intuitive.

However, for many of us, the time comes when we have no choice. Over two decades I cared for seven elders. All but two spent some time in a senior living facility — whether it be an assisted living community or a nursing home During the 15 years I visited daily, I saw three changes of ownership. Each was good, though the last (and present ownership) has been the best, from the viewpoint of a family member.

Dad was the true heart-breaker. He had surgery for complications from a World War II brain injury. Not only did the surgery fail, it put him into paranoid dementia and introduced a voice in his head that we came to call Herman. The shock of his personality change after the surgery is indescribable. His emotional and psychic pain was one of the worst things I’ve had to bear. He survived this way for 10 years.

When Dad went into the same nursing home as my uncle (and eventually the rest of my elders), we watched the home closely. He was so terribly vulnerable, and we felt helpless in the wake of the changes. Yes, we knew the home was excellent. We knew most of the staff, as my uncle had been there for years. However, Dad was on a different floor with different staff.

And this is where I went wrong. There was a male CNA on the floor…

Continue reading on Agingcare for more about perceived or actual neglect and/or abuse in a facility:

Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “For anyone having to walk the last segments of life with a loved one, read this.” …Delores

Discover the Difference. EGOSAN: The premium incontinence brand caregivers love  –  Now Available on Amazon.