Coping With the Decision to Put Your Parent in a Care Facility
Guilt is one emotion that every family caregiver will experience at some point during their journey. When you take on responsibility for another person, there is enormous pressure to consider all factors and make the best decisions regarding their health and finances. Unfortunately, care decisions are rarely black and white. No one always makes the right call in every circumstance. Mistakes are part of human nature, but we do our best with the information and resources we have at the time.
One of the most contentious and guilt-inducing decisions that many family caregivers face is whether nursing home placement is in a loved one’s best interest. Even if a parent requires an intensive level of care and around-the-clock supervision – something that a caregiver is unable to provide single-handedly – this matter is commonly accompanied by a sense of defeat. Ironically, if the decision to seek out professional help is also in our best interest, then the guilt looms even larger.
A Caregiver’s Experience Placing Her Father in a Nursing Home: When my dad first needed nursing home care, I worried about every aspect of his needs simply because he was so vulnerable. My uncle already resided at the same skilled nursing facility, so I knew the staff well and was confident in the care they provided. Yet, I was still fearful for the first few weeks after the move that Dad would not receive the kind of attention he’d grown accustomed to. I was afraid he would decline further without my one-on-one care.
I couldn’t stop wondering what more I could do. Why couldn’t I shake the feeling that I had let him down? Eventually, I had to learn to detach a little. I knew it was painful and…
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “For anyone having to walk the last segments of life with a loved one, read this.” …Delores
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