Universal Phrases for That Help Caregivers Find Serenity
Life isn’t easy for most people, and it’s not perfect for anybody. Sometimes, as we trudge through the days providing help for our care receivers, it’s nice to retrieve a thought or two that can encourage us to keep on doing what we do.
Below are a few suggestions that may help:
There is no such thing as a perfect caregiver. First of all, we are flawed human beings. Our care receivers are also flawed human beings who are likely unhappy about life events that have put them in a vulnerable position. Their wants and needs are ever-changing. We can’t be expected to know what to do at every turn, or how to make their lives better when often they don’t know themselves.
When we forgive, we heal. Often, it’s ourselves we need to forgive, especially for thinking we should be perfect when we’re not. However, even if our care receiver or a friend is basically at fault, we are still the biggest beneficiary of our forgiveness. Doing so frees us from building up resentment about others, which is basically self-punishment because we obsess over the negative instead of moving forward with a positive attitude.
Guilt is counterproductive. Yes, occasionally there’s a valid reason to feel guilty. If so, do what you need to do to make amends for what was done. However, most of the time the guilt is unearned. Carrying around unearned guilt can make us cranky or worse. This, in turn, can’t help but affect our caregiving. Do your best to stop feeling guilty. It won’t help a thing.
Apologizing takes courage. As noted above, if you have behaved in a fashion that is hurtful to your care receiver or others, an apology is in order. Strong people can admit when they’re wrong. An apology should be followed by an attempt to mend the behavior that brought about the problem. If there’s no attempt to improve, then “I’m sorry” has little meaning.
Cheating ourselves hurts the care receiver. Caregivers are human and can go only so long without some sort of reprieve or release. Otherwise, resentment is bound to set in. The care receiver will nearly always sense the discontent of their caregiver and may feel that he or she is to blame. Burnout and resentment are damaging to everyone involved, therefore caregivers must find ways to take care of some of their own needs. Yes, it’s hard to find the time, but it’s important.
Our parents are always our parents. No matter how helpless our parents become, they are not our children. Bodies may fail and minds may deteriorate, but neither of these conditions erases the legacy of the elder’s life. Treating an elder with dignity will…
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