When Older Adults Won’t Accept In-home Caregivers

Hiring in-home care for my elderly neighbor, Joe, was quite an ordeal. The company we chose and their professional caregivers were great, but the quality of care they provided wasn’t the issue. The problem was that Joe resented anyone but me helping him.

He locked one in-home care aide out of his home, let another inside but was rude to her, and thoroughly enjoyed one young man but only because they could discuss golf together.

I’m not the first family caregiver to struggle with getting a senior to accept home care. Families hire these services to secure quality care for seniors and valuable respite time for themselves, but what is a caregiver to do when their loved one refuses to cooperate with this new addition to their care plan?

Reasons Why a Senior Won’t Accept In-Home Caregivers
An in-home caregiver’s best efforts are often met with anger (or even abuse) dished out by the elder they are supposed to be helping. It is crucial for the family and hired caregiver(s) to determine the underlying reason for a senior’s lack of cooperation and find ways to remedy the situation.

I believe that fear is the foundation of much of a senior’s reluctance and even disrespect for non-family caregivers. The presence of an outsider may suggest to them that their family can’t (or doesn’t want to) see to their needs. It also magnifies the extent of the elder’s care needs, making them feel especially vulnerable. This combination of concerns can create the perfect storm, especially if they are prone to lashing out when angry. Of course, the family members who arrange these services get an earful, but the professional caregiver becomes the primary target for sending the message that outside help is neither wanted nor needed.

Fear of Losing Their Independence
People of all ages dread the idea of losing their independence, but many seniors are living this reality and struggling to come to terms with it. Aging is hardly a graceful process, so who can blame our elders for digging their heels in?

If a senior is still of sound mind, emphasize that home care enables them to continue living safely in their own home. This in itself is an overarching symbol of independence. The right caregiver will pick up on the senior’s strong desire to be self-sufficient and provide assistance in ways that allow them to retain as much control as possible. In-home care…

Continue reading on Agingcare for more about adults who resist hired help in the home:

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