Changing Bedding and Protecting Furniture Challenges Alzheimer’s Caregivers

Dear Carol: My dad has had Alzheimer’s for seven years and is currently in the later stages. We looked at memory care but it’s not great in our community, so we reconfigured our home and have kept him with us. We use in-home care, so I get breaks and it’s working out okay. What gets to me, though, is the whole sheet-changing routine that goes on every morning – and sometimes during the night – because of Dad’s incontinence. He wears a nighttime diaper, but they all seem to leak. Dad can walk with assistance but just getting him up and walking seems to bring on the urine flow, so even if we could catch him before he lets go, he doesn’t make it to the bathroom. In fact, it’s almost worse than just letting him go while he’s in bed because then I have to clean the carpet, too. What do I do? – WW

Dear WW: I’m so sorry! You aren’t alone with this frustration but I’m sure it often seems that you are, particularly when changing your dad’s sheets in the middle of the night. People who live with dementia will nearly always develop incontinence if they live into the last stages. That is because age or other risk factors aside, in order to properly use the bathroom, our brains must tell us that it’s time to go and how to get to the proper facility. This is also the reason that many people complain that their loved one living with dementia will urinate in inappropriate places. Men will often find a corner – any corner – to relieve themselves. A woman may find a different chair to sit in while she urinates thinking that she’s on the toilet.

Most likely you are already using a moisture-resistant or waterproof mattress protector. Some are better than others so you might need to experiment with those. For the most protection, I’d suggest premium quality tabbed (diaper-quality) briefs. Egsoan is proud to say that assisted living facility staff have written to tell us how much they our products.

In addition to using the right size and absorbency of incontinence products for someone living with dementia, you may want to try quality underpads or even puppy pads over the mattress and chairs.

Is there any way that you can hire someone from an agency to stay the night so that you can at least occasionally sleep through? Not getting sufficient sleep is so common with dementia caregivers, and if you have to get up and change your dad’s bed in the middle, your night may end even if it’s not yet morning. Hiring an extra caregiver for the night is expensive, I know, but your health may depend on it.

We are on your side, my friend. Let us help if we can.

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Support a caregiver or jump-start discussion in support groups with real stories – for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories.

An inspiring read for caregivers! Minding Our Elders is a series of stories about caregiving. But it is much more than that. It’s a book that helps us view aging and community through the lens of someone well versed in eldercare. Author Carol Bradley Bursack has been a caregiver for a neighbor and six elderly members of her family. These experiences made her the perfect person to interview and share the stories of friends and acquaintances. Through crisp writing and a sharp focus, we enter the lives of those struggling to care for loved ones with dementia and other age-related illnesses. As I read Minding Our Elders, I felt myself filling up with both appreciation and admiration for those who adopt the caregiving role. In addition, I was struck with the inherent value Carol sees in our elders. This is a well-written book that will stir your heart! …Ann Campanella