The Aftermath of Long-Term Caregiving: Is Stress the New Normal?
Often long-term caregivers wonder if their lives will ever return to normal. The short answer is no; at least for most of us. There will be changes in your personality, both positive and negative, so what you view as normal will change.
Each day as a caregiver (to some degree) hinges on the health and welfare of our care receivers. After months or years of caregiving, stress can become a daily companion.
I believe caregivers often recognize one or more triggers that symbolize this stress.
For me it was the blinking message light on the home phone. Though the multiple elders I cared for are now deceased, to this day I rarely consider the fact that that an unexpected phone call or a message on my answering machine could possibly signal anything other than troubling news.
How the telephone became my enemy
Once my dad had moved to a nearby nursing home because of a failed brain surgery and Mom was still living in their apartment, it seemed that every time the phone rang past 5:00 p.m. there was trouble somewhere.
Sometimes the call was from the nursing home because of a problem Dad had. Occasionally, it was Mom just checking in. Too often, however, it was the dispatcher for mom’s personal alarm system. This call meant that I’d need to dash over to Mom’s to see what happened and send for 9-1-1, if necessary.
Mom’s call generally went out because she’d fallen. Sometimes she was barely hurt. Other times there were more serious consequences. Whatever it was, I’d have to cope.
My panicked drives from my home to my mother’s – too often during terrible weather, or so it…
Continue reading on Agingcare for more about the long-term effects of long-term caregiving:
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“An inspiring read for caregivers! Minding Our Elders is a series of stories about caregiving. But it is much more than that. It’s a book that helps us view aging and community through the lens of someone well versed in eldercare. Author Carol Bradley Bursack has been a caregiver for a neighbor and six elderly members of her family. These experiences made her the perfect person to interview and share the stories of friends and acquaintances. Through crisp writing and a sharp focus, we enter the lives of those struggling to care for loved ones with dementia and other age-related illnesses. As I read Minding Our Elders, I felt myself filling up with both appreciation and admiration for those who adopt the caregiving role. In addition, I was struck with the inherent value Carol sees in our elders. This is a well-written book that will stir your heart!” …Ann C
