Siblings’ Focus is on Preserving their Inheritance Over Doing Right
Dear Carol: You’ve heard it all before. I’ve cared for both parents through years of their failing health. After Dad died, I moved Mom in with my husband and me. Now, her health and cognition have deteriorated so much that it’s no longer safe for her to live in our two-story home. She wonders, rummages, has panic attacks, and much more. My family and I have made the stressful decision that it’s time for memory care, which Mom can afford. We have a well-rated facility close to our home, so I can visit often. The problem? My uninvolved siblings, who have been thrilled that I take care of mom, are upset about this possibility because they don’t want me to spend her money, which they view as their inheritance. We’ve never taken a cent for Mom’s care, and they don’t want this to end. I’m so over this. We are making the move next month, even though my oldest brother is threatening a lawsuit. I don’t want a family rift, and Mom would hate that idea, but that’s what’s happening. Do you have any ideas to avoid taking it to court? – BV
Dear BV: My heart goes out to you. Most caregivers would say you have every right to stand your ground, and I agree. Only you can decide if doing so is worth the rift with your brothers and a potential lawsuit. It doesn’t sound like a close relationship exists…
Helpful Tools:
Stay connected with Memoryboard: Designed by caregivers. Memoryboard helps families share reminders, messages, updates, and photos on an easy-to-use screen designed for people with dementia. Peace of mind for families, independence for loved ones.
Wetness indicator and alert to help manage incontinence with dignity. SenecaSense Home: Discreet Support That Restores Comfort and Confidence
Leslie Kernisan, MD, MPH, has opened up support! View two free caregiving webinars that can help you help your older parents (and yourself).
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN: The premium incontinence brand caregivers love: They save work! Now Available on Amazon.
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories: “…This book is for all of us; let it help you cope! Thank you to the author and everyone she spoke with!” …Dolores





