Coping With Older Adults Who Won’t Accept In-Home Caregivers
An in-home caregiver’s best efforts are often met with anger (or even abuse) dished out by the elder they are supposed to be helping. It is crucial for the family and hired caregiver(s) to determine the underlying reason for a senior’s lack of cooperation and find ways to remedy the situation.
I believe that fear is the foundation of much of a senior’s reluctance and even disrespect for non-family caregivers. The presence of an outsider may suggest to them that their family can’t (or doesn’t want to) see to their needs. It also magnifies the extent of the elder’s care needs, making them feel especially vulnerable. This combination of concerns can create the perfect storm, especially if they are prone to lashing out when angry. Of course, the family members who arrange these services get an earful, but the professional caregiver becomes the primary target for sending the message that outside help is neither wanted nor needed.
Fear of Losing Their Independence: People of all ages dread the idea of losing their independence, but many seniors are living this reality and struggling to come to terms with it. Aging is hardly a graceful process, so who can blame our elders for digging their heels in?
If a senior is still of sound mind, emphasize that home care enables them to continue living safely in their own home. This in itself is an overarching symbol of independence. The right caregiver will pick up on the senior’s strong desire to be self-sufficient and provide assistance in ways that allow them to retain as much control as possible. In-home care usually doesn’t sound like such a bad idea when it is presented as the alternative to moving to a senior living community.
Fear of Strangers: Trust issues can also trigger anxiety in some seniors and their family members. Inviting a professional caregiver into the home to care for someone you love is a very personal decision. The best way to alleviate worries about a new caregiver’s character and trustworthiness is for the family…
Helpful Tools:
Stay connected with Memoryboard: Designed by caregivers. Memoryboard helps families share reminders, messages, updates, and photos on an easy-to-use screen designed for people with dementia. Peace of mind for families, independence for loved ones.
Wetness indicator and alert to help manage incontinence with dignity. SenecaSense Home: Discreet Support That Restores Comfort and Confidence
Leslie Kernisan, MD, MPH, has opened up support! View two free caregiving webinars that can help you help your older parents (and yourself).
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN: The premium incontinence brand caregivers love: They save work! Now Available on Amazon.
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories: “…This book is for all of us; let it help you cope! Thank you to the author and everyone she spoke with!” …Dolores
