When We Become Caregivers, Friends May Disappear
Most people have not personally provided care for a loved one and therefore cannot fully understand everything that goes into being a family caregiver. While this role can provide many gratifying moments and opportunities, the truth is that it’s often intense, exhausting and worrisome. Being on-call around the clock is both physically and emotionally draining. As a result, a caregiver’s other relationships can easily fall by the wayside. Friendships are usually the first to suffer as caregiving causes a person’s priorities and availability to change.
In situations where caregivers and their care recipients live together, friends can feel like they are intruding during visits. They may also feel uncomfortable because they don’t know how to act when an ailing elder, especially one who is cognitively impaired, is present. There are countless reasons why friends may fall out of touch and stray from their routines together when one becomes a caregiver.
The bottom line is that this responsibility makes it nearly impossible to have a social life, and outsiders—even those closest to us—typically have a hard time understanding this fact. Eventually, friends stop extending invitations and shrugging off plans that are cancelled at the last minute. However, working together to achieve mutual understanding with true friends can help you both continue interacting with and supporting one another despite your changing circumstances.
When “Busy” Becomes a Way of Life
When caregivers and elders are living under the same roof, finding any amount of downtime for other people and activities is a tremendous feat. But even those who don’t live with their care recipients have difficulty balancing their time. None of my elders lived in my home with me, but my friends knew how busy I was seeing to all their care needs. Sure, friends and colleagues would occasionally ask me how I was doing. I’d give them a short report, knowing…
Helpful Tools:
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories.“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose…I don’t want it to end.” …Craig William Dayton, Film Composer
Stay connected with Memoryboard: Designed by caregivers. Memoryboard helps families share reminders, messages, updates, and photos on an easy-to-use screen designed for people with dementia. Peace of mind for families, independence for loved ones.
Wetness indicator and alert to help manage incontinence with dignity. SenecaSense Home: Discreet Support That Restores Comfort and Confidence
Leslie Kernisan, MD, MPH, has opened up support! View two free caregiving webinars that can help you help your older parents (and yourself).
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN: The premium incontinence brand caregivers love: They save work! Now Available on Amazon.
