Embracing Positive Caregiving Moments Makes Bad Times Tolerable
My nature is generally upbeat. I try to be grateful for my many blessings and not dwell on the negative. However, as a family caregiver, I’m intimately acquainted with difficult days and responsibilities that seem endless. Always aware that I love the people I’ve cared for, there’s still considerable stress and fatigue involved, to say nothing of an occasional pang of “what about me?” I’m assuming most of you can relate.
I’m also assuming that most of you, if you think about it, have had some lighter moments while caregiving, or even some uplifting, life-enhancing moments never to be forgotten. I know I’ve had many. Some were chance moments that I could have missed if not for the exquisite timing that life occasionally offers us. Some came less spontaneously. And a few came during otherwise painful moments.
I’m choosing to consciously remember those moments. I hope you’ll take this idea and use it for your own. Make a list of moments that made you happy to be caring for a person you love or even a person you care for professionally. Remembering those moments can swing your attitude from negative to positive. Keeping a list may come in handy when that sweet attitude starts to sour. Here’s my own short list.
My neighbor Joe was in his 80s, a widower. He loved feeding the birds in his backyard. One day during my visit I said, “Joe, we’re getting you your own bird.” My young sons and I took Joe to a pet shop, and Joe picked out a turquoise parakeet he named Nuts. A love affair began that day that lasted until Joe’s death. I believe the bird signified to Joe that he still had a responsibility and some meaning in his life. Memories of the joy he received from his…
Helpful Tools:
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories.“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose…I don’t want it to end.” …Craig William Dayton, Film Composer
Stay connected with Memoryboard: Designed by caregivers. Memoryboard helps families share reminders, messages, updates, and photos on an easy-to-use screen designed for people with dementia. Peace of mind for families, independence for loved ones.
Wetness indicator and alert to help manage incontinence with dignity. SenecaSense Home: Discreet Support That Restores Comfort and Confidence
Leslie Kernisan, MD, MPH, has opened up support! View two free caregiving webinars that can help you help your older parents (and yourself).
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN: The premium incontinence brand caregivers love: They save work! Now Available on Amazon.
