Not Everyone Is Cut Out to Be a Caregiver
Each of us is unique, with our own talents and flaws. Often, our so-called faults are merely ways in which we differ from society’s ever-changing expectations.
For example, it used to be a given that married couples would have children if possible. Currently, a significant number of couples are choosing to be childfree. Are they selfish? No. They simply know what they want out of their lives and understand that being parents probably isn’t the best choice for them or their potential children.
Similarly, some people have the insight to recognize that they wouldn’t be able to provide daily hands-on care for a beloved parent. They may have spent decades building careers that they love with the support and encouragement of the parents who now need help at home. There may be people to whom patience does not come naturally or abundantly. Perhaps nurturing is simply not their strong suit. Not everyone is a natural caregiver.
Do these qualities make them bad people? No. Selfish people? Again, no.
Being a Caregiver Is a Choice: Most individuals who choose not to be primary caregivers simply don’t have the characteristics, time, or resources needed to sustain the daily provision of long-term care for a vulnerable adult. It’s likely that these people truly love their parents and, even if they don’t have a solid relationship, they at least feel moral concern for their well-being.
Just because someone decides against personally providing total care to a loved one doesn’t necessarily constitute indifference or abandonment. Many will visit, arrange other sources of care, handle financial issues, monitor their parents’ health, and advocate for them. In actuality,..
Helpful Tools:
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories.“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose…I don’t want it to end.” …Craig William Dayton, Film Composer
Stay connected with Memoryboard: Designed by caregivers. Memoryboard helps families share reminders, messages, updates, and photos on an easy-to-use screen designed for people with dementia. Peace of mind for families, independence for loved ones.
Wetness indicator and alert to help manage incontinence with dignity. SenecaSense Home: Discreet Support That Restores Comfort and Confidence
Leslie Kernisan, MD, MPH, has opened up support! View two free caregiving webinars that can help you help your older parents (and yourself).
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN: The premium incontinence brand caregivers love: They save work! Now Available on Amazon.
