Relationships

Siblings Who Care More About Their Inheritance Than Mom and Dad’s Care

“We don’t want strangers taking care of Mom!” “We promised Dad he would never have to go to a nursing home!” “If you really...

A family dinner table with a happy black family sharing a meal. There is a husband/father with a beard wearing a blue shirt with rolled-up sleeves, a wife/mother with curly black hair wearing a gray top, and two children, a girl and a boy. The girl is in the foreground. They are all having a good time.

Balancing Elder Care with Other Relationships

Becoming a family caregiver is often something that either happens very suddenly or slowly sneaks up on a person. When a loved one has...

The image shows an gray-haired woman in a red sweater sitting with a man, presumably her husband. The man has his arm around the woman. He wears a fedora with a red feather, dark-rimmed glasses, and a blue sweater.

Alzheimer’s: Theft, Paranoia or Forgetfulness?

“She took my sweater!” Victoria says. “I saw her. She stole it! That woman took the sweater my mother made for me!” But did...

The image shows an interior background with an older man and younger woman sitting on a couch looking at an electronic device. The man is balding and has a whote beard. He wear a light blue shirt. The woman has dark blond hair, a cream shirt, and jeans. They appear to be having fun.

Should You Convince Your Aging Parents to Move Closer to You?

As a columnist for a newspaper on the plains, I often have readers write me that they are begging their parents to “come back...

The image has a dark indoor background. In the foreground is an older woman with darker, wrinkled sking and very short white hair. She's wearing brown rimmed glasses and a top that has blue and white sleeves and trim with a deep red vest like shoulder. Her expression shows her eyes turning left and her mouth as if she's speaking bitter words.

Caring for Aging Parents Who Didn’t Care for You

Years ago, a journalist (we’ll call her Nancy) requested an interview with me to discuss common caregiving issues for an article she was writing....

The view is from the top looking down on a desk. We see the arms in a person with a white medical coat. They have the bulb from a blood pressure cuff in their hand as they measure blood pressure of the patient. The patient is seen from the back. He has short dark hair and is wearing a light blue, casual long-sleeved shirt.

Caregiver Needs Help Preparing for New Doctor in Different Network

Dear Carol: Since my mother’s doctor is retiring, she’s going to try someone recommended by a friend. The challenge is not just changing doctors, which...

Image shows a younger man with dark hair and a trimmed beard. His eldows are resting on a table, with his hands folded in fron of his mouth. He's leaning into his hands with his eyes closed, as if thinking hard or praying.

Caregiver Guilt: How to Stop Feeling Guilty About Aging Parents

Get used to it – the guilt, I mean. The incessant phone call thing was just one of the many games I had to...

The cover of Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Own Stories is done in brown and sepia tones. The background image is a room interior. Inthe foreground is a picture of the authors father, a man with a receding hairline, dark-rimmed glasses, and a light shirt. He sites with his arms crossed in front of him with a contemplative expression.

A Story from the Sandwich Generation: Caring for Kids and Parents

Watching out for elders has always come naturally for me. I grew up close to my grandparents, and during my teenage years, my paternal...

A man or woman with a short mop of curly auburn hair, mostly covers their face with their hands. The viewer can see tears on the check and one eye that can be seen. They are wearing a black turtlenecked, long-sleeved sweater.

Is It Normal to Grieve long Before Someone Dies?

Nearly everyone involved in caring for an ill or aging loved one is experiencing some degree of grief. However, we don’t usually identify the...

An older man sitts on the left, looking at a younger woman who is smiling at him as if explaining something. The man has gray hair and is wearing a beige shirt. The woman has long brown hair tied in a low ponytail. She's wearing blue scrubs and has a stethoscope around her neck.

Hospice Care: Help During End Stages of Life

One day while I was working at my newspaper job, the phone rang. It was the head nurse at Dad’s nursing home. “Carol, we...