Minding Our Elders

Minding Our Elders Blog

How to Handle Controlling Elderly Parents

The responsibility of providing care for an aging or ill loved one is a monumental challenge in its own right. But when a care...

This summery image shows a group of summer trees in the background. In the foreground, we see a late-middle aged could seated together with the man's arm around the womans waist. Both a smiling broadly as if in a group of people who've made them laugh. The woman has curly, modern white hair and is wearing a denium button-down shirt, open at the color. The man has a receding hairline, gray hair, and is wearing a white golf shirt.

More Severe than Burnout, Compassion Fatigue is a Danger for Long-term Caregivers

Dear Carol: My parents and in-laws all lived to be very old, with years of physical and cognitive decline. I willingly cared for them...

This image shows a sunny day with tropical plants flowering in the background. On the left, we see a man with medium toned skin, a neatly trimmed beard, a black hat with a brim and a dark tee shirt. He's looking off into the distance with a stressed expression. On the right, we see a woman with equally dark hair cut in a sort bob. She has light skin and is wearing a gray shirt. Her expression shows raised eyebrows as in questioning the man's opinion.

What to Do When Siblings Can’t Agree on a Parent’s Care Needs

For some lucky families, having all adult siblings gather around and plan how to take care of Mom and Dad as their parents’ health...

How to Communicate with a Senior Who Can No Longer Speak

Years ago, I stumbled upon a video that remains vivid in my mind. In it, an elderly couple who had spent a lifetime devoted...

This image shows a cluttered garage. In the center is an old turquoise Volkswagen beetle with rusty bumpers and trim.

How Do I Get Dad Out of His Cluttered, Unsafe Home?

People want to stay in their own homes. You hear it and read about it all the time. And there’s some merit to that....

This image has a blurred outdoor background indicating trees and sky. In the foreground, we see an older woman with dullt died brown hair wearing a gardening apron. She is holding the brim of a gardening hat to the back of her head as she smiles at the camera.

“I Promised My Parents I’d Never Put Them in a Care Home”

Caregiving is a job that is full of ups and downs. Many of us take on this role out of love and concern, but...

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What to Do When a Senior Refuses to Bathe and Change Their Clothes

When it comes to caring for the elderly, hygiene issues are surprisingly common. Determining why their bathing habits have changed is the best way...

This indoor image shows a woman who looks to be of middle eastern heritage. She's got shoulder length black hair and is wearting a turquoise paisley top and turquoise enhanced necklace. Her expression is one of puzzlement.

Minimizing Grief for a Surviving Spouse with Dementia

Deciding whether to tell someone who is cognitively impaired that their spouse has died is a serious and often recurring struggle. Dementia and death...

Is Lying to Someone with Dementia Unethical or Compassionate?

Dear Carol: Like many of your readers, my husband has dementia of the Alzheimer’s type, and I’m caring for him at home. We’ve always...

This image has a black background. IN the foreground, we see two women, one clearly the mother, the other the daughter. The older woman has very long whiteish hair hanging down her back. She wears a sleeveless dress that has a black background and white dots. She holds her cheek out to be kissed by the younger woman who is wearhing a black and white striped shirt. She has dark brown curly hair and both have eddium toned skin. They look content.

Did Your Mother Really Know Best?

Witnessing our parents’ aging process can be uncomfortable. Some people consider the pain so unbearable that they find reasons to be angry with their parents....