To Enjoy the Holidays more, Accept That Traditions Can and Do Evolve

Dear Carol: Your column gives us a place to talk about our caregiving feelings, so thank you. I’m caring for my mom who has a life-limiting disease as well as my in-laws who are in assisted living. We’re also facing our first Christmas after my dad’s death, so besides being ill, Mom is understandably depressed. My in-laws expect us to be a big part of their assisted living holiday festivities which we’re happy to do but the events are time-consuming. Oh, and I work full-time. My kids understand that the pressures of caregiving mean this Christmas will be simplified. Still, I feel that I’m cheating them because I’ve had to eliminate some ​cherished ​traditions and ​compromised on ​others. I’m just thankful that the holidays are nearly over.  Am I the only caregiver who feels like this? – SF

Dear SF: I’m sorry about the loss of your father. The symbolic empty chair at the table is tough on everyone, but hardest on the surviving spouse. As far as being alone with your thoughts about the holiday season, far from it. It’s likely that most caregivers feel much…

Continue reading on Inforum for encouragement about your likely curtailed Christmas preparations.

Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “For anyone having to walk the last segments of life with a loved one, read this.” …Delores