Should Your Elderly Loved One Move in With You?

Decades ago, it was fairly common to have grandparents living with family and it often worked well. It did for my family. My parents built a new house that could accommodate all the different generations and afforded some privacy for all. Grandma moved in, and the arrangement worked. My mom did not work outside the home, so there was nearly always someone home with Grandma. I was also a born caregiver and gladly did what I could to help with both my toddler sister and my grandmother.

These days, having an aging loved one move in is still an option for some families, but it has become more complicated. Multigenerational living can have serious implications, and there are a number of factors that are often overlooked that must be taken into consideration first.

4 Things to Consider Before Moving Aging Parents in With You:

Past and Future Relationships –
To avoid potential issues when an elderly parent moves in, it is important to reflect on their relationships with each member of your household. If your husband has never gotten along with your mother, it is highly unlikely that their relationship would change for the better after she moves in. The same applies if you have had a historically troubled relationship with your mother. You may have the best intentions, but forcing a relationship for any reason is guaranteed to backfire.
Even if your family dynamic has been largely positive in the past, try to anticipate potential changes that could result from this decision. How could moving Dad in affect your marriage? Will your elder be able to tolerate living with active children? Should the kids expect that Grandpa is in charge when Mom and Dad aren’t home, or should they be taught that they will be assuming the role of caregiver?
It is crucial to have realistic expectations…

Continue reading on Agingcare for more about how to carefully evaluable whether your aging parents should more in with you or if other arrangements are a better option:

Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “For anyone having to walk the last segments of life with a loved one, read this.” …Delores

Support a caregiver or jump-start discussion in support groups with real stories – for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol 

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