Detaching With Love: Setting Boundaries With Difficult Elderly Parents
When the family member we are trying to care for is critical, impossible to please or emotionally abusive, long-standing family dynamics are often to blame.
I’m not talking about caring for an elder who is suffering from chronic pain or who has little control over their moods and behaviors because of dementia. In those cases, it’s clear that we need the help of professionals to find a solution, like palliative care for symptom relief or a memory care unit that specializes in dementia behaviors.
What I’m referring to are children who, after a historically toxic relationship, are now in a position where they need to make care decisions for an abusive family member…Yet, it is natural for adult children to love their parents and want to ensure proper care for them as they age. The little kid inside of us most likely still wants our parents’ approval. When we are denied that validation, even as adults, it hurts. If you had a difficult childhood and a troubled relationship into adulthood, how do you care for abusive parents without incurring additional psychological harm? How do you provide adequate care despite…
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose…I don’t want it to end.” …Craig William Dayton, Film Composer
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN – the Top-Rated incontinence brand from Italy. Now Available on Amazon.
Support a caregiver or jump-start discussion in support groups with real stories – for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol
