How to Convince a Senior to Wear Adult Briefs (Diapers)
It’s often difficult for older adults to accept and deal with incontinence issues. Many try to ignore this new development and carry on with their lives, but a head-in-the-sand approach usually backfires, drawing more attention to their condition. There are ways to encourage a loved one to address this problem, but they require patience, understanding and a commitment to upholding your loved one’s dignity.
Pro Tip: Strike the Word Diaper From Your Vocabulary:
“My parent won’t wear adult diapers and it drives me nuts!”
This is a common complaint from family caregivers whose loved ones are suffering from incontinence, and I absolutely sympathize. However, one glaring piece of this sentence stands out to me: the word “diaper.”
Figuring out how to talk to elderly parents about incontinence is difficult. The first thing I urge caregivers to do is think carefully about their word choices. Seniors often rebel against the word “diaper” as an adult of any age would—and for good reason. This term is typically associated with babies or toddlers who have yet to be toilet trained. What adult would take kindly to the word when it’s applied to them?
To take it one step further, think about this. If you are a middle-aged woman who has had children, you’ve probably suffered from stress incontinence occasionally, meaning that you’ve leaked a little urine while coughing, sneezing or laughing. Perhaps you’ve even used a panty protector just in case. How would you feel if your significant other or a friend referred to this little protection as a diaper?
Bottom line: diapers are for babies. No adult, regardless of their level of physical or mental disability, should be treated like a baby. Aging and age-related conditions already rob our loved ones of much of their independence and dignity. Our word choices and tone of voice may not seem that important, but communicating and providing care in ways that help our loved ones feel dignified is a game-changer—especially when it comes to promoting cooperation and boosting self-esteem.
This may seem like nitpicking, but please refer to adult incontinence products with age-appropriate terms. Think along the lines of briefs, pads, underpants, pull-ups, the actual brand name (e.g., Depends)—anything you want. Just make your terminology respectful…
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose…I don’t want it to end.” …Craig William Dayton, Film Composer
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN – the Top-Rated incontinence brand from Italy. Now Available on Amazon.
Support a caregiver or jump-start discussion in support groups with real stories – for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol
