How to Be a True Friend to a Family Caregiver
Family caregivers often find that their social circles shrink over time. Casual friends are typically the first to drift away because a caregiver is too busy to get together, but close friends may disappear eventually as well. These friends are not bad people, though. More than likely, they don’t know how to help a caregiver and they find it easier to share their time with people whose lives are less complicated.
If you are just a casual friend to someone who is caring for an ill or aging loved one, then perhaps it’s best to remain that way. However, some of you want to do more for friends who have found themselves in this difficult role. You want to be there for them, but the trouble is that you don’t know where to start.
How to Support a Friend Who Is a Caregiver: The following tips may give you some insight into what you can do to help your friend as they devote a good portion of their time, energy and funds to their loved one. (Remember to take this as general advice since every caregiver and every care situation is unique.)
Listen attentively. Really listen to what they have to say. Caregivers rarely expect others to solve their problems, but they need to vent their frustration and sorrow from time to time. Respond during conversations with sounds or short comments to assure them that you are engaged and really do care. Pretending to listen rarely fools anyone. If you want to be a true friend, listen attentively.
Don’t tell horror stories.
For example, someone who has just made the difficult decision to place a loved one in a care facility doesn’t need to hear about a substandard nursing home in another community where something terrible reportedly occurred. You may think that you are merely adding to the conversation on this topic, but sharing stories like these…
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories. “I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose…I don’t want it to end.” …Craig William Dayton, Film Composer
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