Why So Many Long-Married Couples Die Close Together

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2 Responses

  1. Del Larson says:

    I’m looking for information for my caregiver groups on what friends and family can talk about with seniors in nursing care or assisted living. Friends seem to be uninterested or unsure of what to say to previous friends when they haven’t seen each other in a long time. People feel uncomfortable visiting disabled or seniors who are alone creating a barrier and eventually lost friendships

    • Hi Del, I’m sorry for the delay in answering you. This just showed up in my comment list, but thank you for writing. Your question is natural and a common one, because it really can be challenging. This goes double for someone with dementia or just plain memory issues.
      First, understand that just your (or someone’s) presence says a lot. Of course, it’s uncomfortable to just sit in silence, but nearly any older adult would love to have you ask them about their younger years. Something about what it was like growing up in the 40s or 50s or whenever. So, if you say, “Would you tell me more about what it was like when you were little?” they’ll likely lead the conversation, and you can just ask follow up questions. It doesn’t matter if you’ve heard the stories ten times before. The idea is to let them tell you about their lives. The same can be true with hobbies that they’ve had. Ask them to tell you about it and let them lead. Additionally, if you come armed with a play list of songs or even a list of old music videos, you might grab their interest. If you have access to old photos, that’s nearly always a hit. Again, just the fact that you are attempting to spend time with them is what really matters. Best wishes to you going forward! Carol

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