It’s Christmas Day: Are You Enjoying It?
It’s December 25th and Many people are celebrating Christmas Day. Caregivers might find the word celebrating a little over the top but try not to be too dismissive.
If you are caring for a parent or spouse who doesn’t recognize you for who you are, that doesn’t mean your efforts are unappreciated. Know that on some level, your love is understood. Celebrate that.
If you have rushed around like a wild person trying to make a perfect holiday happen for your family, well, today you are done no matter where you are in the process. Celebrate that.
To me – a rather obsessive person when it comes to doing everything I can do to make something right for everyone else – there’s something comforting about knowing that I can do no more. The time has come when I must be done, so I may as well enjoy myself and accept the less-than-perfect results.
There’s an old saying dating back to William Shakespeare that I should attach to the wall by my computer. It reads, “To thine own self be true.” This may seem like a selfish statement, but it’s not. The rest of the quote ends like this: “We can then be false to no man.”
This quote is from literature, not a religious text. However, the Bible does say we should love our neighbor as ourselves. This kind of self-love isn’t meant to be egotistical. Rather, it’s a way of knowing that we, too, have value, and when we respect that value, we can be better at loving our neighbor.
Caregivers can easily get caught up in thinking they are only good people if they sacrifice everything for the good of others. Yet, since literature and even holy texts tell us we should value ourselves, why do we so easily forget our unique worth?
As a person who has been a caregiver for decades – different people, different age groups – I’m acutely aware that we can become caregivers even when we don’t realize we are giving care. We can also become caretakers, taking on more responsibility for another person than is healthy for that person or ourselves.
Many of you are deep in serious caregiving challenges. No article you read can change the course of your life or that of the ones you love. However, I’m hoping that today, this day of celebration for many, you can understand that “good enough is perfect.” Realize that you are a wonderful person who has given so much to help others. Celebrate this day – really celebrate it.
For me, the celebration of Christmas means going to church on Christmas Eve or finding other ways to absorb the spirit of the season. Chief among those is spending time with people I love. Yet, I also need some quiet time alone. For others, celebration may mean spending several days with family members they haven’t seen in months or years. We are all different, as are our circumstances and cultures. What’s important is the love we show one another. May this day bring you peace.
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