When You’ve Promised a Parent You’d Never Put Them in a Care Facility
Caregiving is a job that is full of ups and downs. Many of us take on this role out of love and concern, but as care needs increase, the pressure ramps up and we are faced with increasingly difficult care decisions. One of the most heart-wrenching choices a family caregiver must make is whether to place a loved one in a nursing home.
Unrealistic Promises Complicate Caregiving
Back when our loved ones were younger and healthier, many of us promised in good faith that we would never put them in a nursing home. Doing so would be unthinkable – like abandoning them in their time of need. So, we naively pledge to care for them ourselves until the very end. We assure them that they’ll be able to live out their remaining years at home with family tending to their needs.
This is admirable yet unrealistic thinking. Recent research shows that the average duration of caregiving is a whopping 4.5 years. As time goes by and our loved ones’ care needs mount, we find ourselves spread thinner and thinner. Eventually, we are forced to admit that we can’t raise our families, work our jobs, care for ourselves, and provide full-time hands-on care over the long term. So, we regretfully start looking into other options. They need more care than we can singlehandedly provide, so we start by making some kind of change to their care plan such as hiring in-home care or enrolling them in adult day care…
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