Why People Are Ashamed When They Secretly Wish Their Suffering Loved One Could Die
Every so often, someone on the AgingCare Caregiver Forum will admit that they secretly wish the person they’re caring for would pass away. Often, this person is sick, suffering and difficult to care for. The caregiver merely wants to have their life back and see their care recipient’s pain and low quality of life come to an end. Of course, those who admit to having this dark thought wonder if that makes them a terrible person. Being a family caregiver is fraught with countless difficult emotions, and this is perhaps one of the hardest to grapple with.
New Caregivers Are Driven By Love and Hope
Most of these caregivers are decent folks who care deeply about their elderly parents, spouses and other loved ones who require their assistance. As so many of us do, they have taken on the responsibility of caregiving out of love. Our help is needed, so we jump in without a thought. We have no idea that this role could last for years or even decades. It doesn’t occur to us that this decision could jeopardize our relationships, our careers, our health or our finances, but that is the reality for most.
Many families are suddenly thrust into caregiving when a loved one experiences a medical setback or receives a serious diagnosis. Everyone goes into crisis mode. This person can no longer live alone safely, but nobody wants them to move to a long-term care facility—at least…
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Support a caregiver or jump-start discussion in support groups with real stories – for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories.
Darlene Fuchs, Author of Get in the Boat: “Your shared stories are deeply moving and relatable, reflecting the varied emotions and challenges of caregiving for aging loved ones. “Minding Our Elders” serves as a poignant and invaluable resource, offering support and connection to caregivers on their journey.”
