Why Some Family Caregivers Refuse Help
Even when family caregivers have access to help, many still come up with excuses to turn down assistance. Learning to accept support and assistance will ensure you can have a life apart from the needs of your care receiver.
Throughout my years of experience providing care for aging loved ones, I’ve encountered a variety of reasons why caregivers deny the need for outside help. Ultimately, family caregivers must acknowledge and work through their motivations for wanting to be an elder’s sole care provider.
Caregivers often endure high stress levels (especially those with little or no support) and many eventually become burned out—a condition that should not be taken lightly. Although it can be difficult, accepting and seeking out help prevents burnout and benefits caregivers and care recipients.
Things That Prevent Caregivers from Accepting Help
Protective Instincts: While many caregivers come to terms with the fact that we can’t make our loved ones completely healthy and/or independent again, we still want to be the person who cares for them and safeguards their well-being. This protective instinct is often powerful and hard to overcome.
Caregiver Guilt : It is common for feelings of guilt to pop up throughout one’s caregiving journey, even though they are usually undeserved. To make matters worse, guilt-trips are often self-imposed. Caregivers may feel that their position as a spouse, an adult child or even a parent requires them to meet all of a loved one’s needs personally. Deserved or not, guilt is nearly always a useless and destructive emotion, yet it’s a common problem for…
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“An inspiring read for caregivers! Minding Our Elders is a series of stories about caregiving. But it is much more than that. It’s a book that helps us view aging and community through the lens of someone well versed in eldercare. Author Carol Bradley Bursack has been a caregiver for a neighbor and six elderly members of her family. These experiences made her the perfect person to interview and share the stories of friends and acquaintances. Through crisp writing and a sharp focus, we enter the lives of those struggling to care for loved ones with dementia and other age-related illnesses. As I read Minding Our Elders, I felt myself filling up with both appreciation and admiration for those who adopt the caregiving role. In addition, I was struck with the inherent value Carol sees in our elders. This is a well-written book that will stir your heart!” …Ann C
