Hospice Care: Help During End Stages of Life
Each time I walked into Dad’s room in the nursing home, he would be rigid in bed, propped up on one elbow and slamming his other fist against his upturned palm. Pow! Pow! Pow! Over and over, he pounded fist against hand. I would try to get him to relax and lie back down, but he couldn’t comprehend my pleas. Pow! Pow! Pow! He was trying to knock out the pain.
Dad had resided in this nursing home since a botched brain surgery that was supposed to correct the results of a brain injury he’d sustained in World War II. He went into this surgery foggy from fluid building up behind scar tissue in his brain. While the procedure was medically successful, the unexpected result was that Dad developed “instant dementia.” He came out of the operating room needing around-the-clock skilled nursing care.
Each time I visited and saw him in such an agitated state, I would hurry from his room back out into the hall to talk with his nurse, Sarita. Had the doctor been in yet? Had he seen Dad like this? Would he please help us get Dad on hospice?
“He is in pain, Sarita. It’s obvious. Can’t the doctor give him something?” I implored.
“I know,” she’d answer solemnly. “He is in pain. We know him and can see it, but the doctor looks at his chart and says he sleeps so much that he can’t possibly be in pain.”
“But look at him!” I’d plead, choking on tears.
“I know,” she’d reassure. “I know. We’re working on it.”
We knew Dad was wearing down. He didn’t have long to live, but did he have to be in such discomfort? I wanted him under hospice care, but the doctor was adamant that he still wasn’t ready.
One day while I was working at my newspaper job, the phone rang. It was the head nurse at Dad’s nursing home.
“Carol, we did it!” she said. “Your father’s going on hospice. Can the provider call you at work? If you can do the paperwork now, then we’ll get him started.”
A hospice social worker called me at work and even came up to my office for the initial interview. I did the paperwork and met the hospice representatives at Dad’s nursing home later that day.
Breaking the News That a Loved One Is Going on Hospice
After we won the fight for hospice, my main concern became how to tell Mom. Hospice means impending death to most people. And, of course, that is what they do—they help people die naturally while minimizing bothersome symptoms (like pain) as much as possible.
Perfect Christmas gifts!
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