A New Year Calls for a New Attitude Toward Caregiving
How long has it been since you’ve distanced yourself from caregiving long enough to decide what is good for you? When was the last time you had a guilt-free break from the needs of others? Have you sought out help recently so that you can take some time to recharge and rediscover yourself?
If you haven’t been making yourself a priority over the last year, you’re not alone. Most caregivers face countless mental, financial, and logistical hurdles when it comes to participating in self-care. But, the new year is upon us, which is the perfect time for taking inventory of our lives, pinpointing some changes we want to make, and adjusting our attitudes to help us see these things through. Changing how you approach your caregiving responsibilities doesn’t mean that you love the person you are caring for any less. To the contrary, changing your mindset can actually be a clear indication of the depth of your love.
What Would Your Elder Want for You?
Let’s face it, our care recipients are often demanding. After all, they are most likely in frequent emotional distress and/or physical pain. Add to that the fact that they are losing the ability to make decisions about their own life, and you’ve got a crabby person on your hands. This does not mean that your elder doesn’t care about your welfare. It just means that their ill health and age-related losses are preventing them from focusing on anything other than their own misery.
Try to think back to who your care recipient was before they became so difficult. What did they envision for you? What hopes did they have for you and your life? Surely, they wanted you to be happy, healthy, and successful. Take these things to heart and keep them at the forefront of your mind when you are making care decisions, because these choices affect you, too.
If you are caring for a loved one who has always been self-absorbed, manipulative or unsupportive, then it is time to carefully examine your relationship, your motivations for caregiving, and your boundaries. This responsibility is difficult enough for people who have healthy relationships with their care recipients. Fear, obligation, and guilt…
Helpful Tools:
Wetness indicator and alert to help manage incontinence with dignity. SenecaSense Home: Discreet Support That Restores Comfort and Confidence
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN: The premium incontinence brand caregivers love: They save work! Now Available on Amazon.
Stay connected with Memoryboard: Designed by caregivers. Memoryboard helps families share reminders, messages, updates, and photos on an easy-to-use screen designed for people with dementia. Peace of mind for families, independence for loved ones.
Leslie Kernisan, MD, MPH, has opened up support! View two free caregiving webinars that can help you help your older parents (and yourself).
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories: “…This book is for all of us; let it help you cope! Thank you to the author and everyone she spoke with!” …Dolores
