You Don’t Stop Being a Caregiver When Your Spouse Enters Memory Care
Dear Carol: My 56-year-old husband recently went into memory care. I visit every morning and often in the evening because, even though he no longer recognizes me, he needs me. I need him, too, so the visits are for both of us, but my friends don’t understand. This group of women I’ve socialized with for years feels I need psychiatric help because I’m still “obsessed” with caring for my husband. They think I’m not taking advantage of no longer being tied to his needs around the clock. I try to explain that I’m still a caregiver. I’m tired after my visits, to be sure, but that’s not the whole reason. It’s less stressful to be alone than with people who don’t get it. I’m sure you’ll tell me to seek counseling, but I don’t know where to go, and I’m not sure how they’d help me. – MG
Dear MG: I understand from personal experience the issue you’re dealing with, and I’m so sorry you’re affected. Sadly, it’s common that people who are not current or past caregivers feel compelled to provide what they feel is wise advice. This advice not only misses the mark by miles, but it also highlights the glaring gap in…
Helpful Tools:
Wetness indicator and alert to help manage incontinence with dignity. SenecaSense Home: Discreet Support That Restores Comfort and Confidence
Stay connected with Memoryboard: Designed by caregivers. Memoryboard helps families share reminders, messages, updates, and photos on an easy-to-use screen designed for people with dementia. Peace of mind for families, independence for loved ones.
Leslie Kernisan, MD, MPH, has opened up support! View two free caregiving webinars that can help you help your older parents (and yourself).
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN: The premium incontinence brand caregivers love: They save work! Now Available on Amazon.
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories: “…This book is for all of us; let it help you cope! Thank you to the author and everyone she spoke with!” …Dolores
