When Your Spouse or Parent with Alzheimer’s No Longer Recognizes You
Dear Carol: After decades together, my wife no longer recognizes me. She’s been living with Alzheimer’s for nearly ten years, so this is not a surprise. Even so, it’s a shock, if that makes sense. There’s no way to prepare someone for the impact of such a change in their spouse. All of our shared memories are mine alone to carry. Somehow, that seems harder than if I forgot it all myself. I know this is a temporary feeling, but the pain is terrible. My reason for writing is to use your column to reach out to other spouses and adult children experiencing this and tell them that their emotional pain is understood by many others. Thank you for providing us with information, as well as a way to express our thoughts. – DP
Dear DP: I’m sorry you must experience this incredibly difficult change. When a spouse or parent can look right at us and not know who we are, it’s devastating. This is an undeniable sign that the person we are supporting is losing more capacity. The mere fact that someone we have such an intimate history with no longer knows who we are is nearly incomprehensible. As you mentioned, we can know this is coming, but when it happens, it’s still a shock. They can no longer access the memories that…
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