How Caregiving Changes Us In Profound Ways
There’s no getting around it: being a family caregiver is bound to impact how you think and who you are as a person. Taking on this high-stress role that is both physically and mentally demanding can be transformative, especially when you consider that the average duration of caregiving is 4.5 years.
Some members of the Caregiver Forum worry that their personality changes are largely negative. Certainly, stress, exhaustion, and overwhelming responsibilities can take a serious toll on one’s physical and mental health. Caregiver burnout is notorious for sneaking up on even the most organized and level-headed individual. But if you learn to manage caregiver burden instead of letting it consume you, the risk of developing lasting negative traits like anxiety, depression, and agitation is greatly reduced.
In fact, many proactive caregivers notice that they’ve developed some beneficial attributes and coping methods thanks to their experiences in elder care. How your personality might change throughout this journey depends, of course, on your unique attitude, your openness to change, the feelings you have for the person you are caring for, and the state of your own physical and mental health.
How Caregiving Affects Different Personality Types
The following examples illustrate how certain personality types can be transformed, both negatively and positively, by caregiving.
The Take-Charge Personality: For people who instinctively seek control in most situations, caregiving can either turn them into frustrated tyrants or help them mellow out.
It can be very easy to adopt a “do as I say” approach to communicating with aging parents or an ailing spouse. Even if your loved one still has their faculties, it’s usually less of a hassle for you to personally manage care tasks, big and small, compared to giving them the leeway to attempt these things themselves. After all, you know exactly what medications need to be taken and when. You know what the weather is like today, so it’s easier to just set out appropriate clothing for your loved one than let them pick their own outfit.
Handling these issues (and hundreds of others while caregiving) and not slipping into an overbearing or “parental” mode can be difficult for anyone. However, for family caregivers with Type A behavior pattern (TABP), the challenge can be monumental. These individuals are often highly organized, ambitious, extremely driven, impatient, overcommitted, and time…
Continue reading on Agingcare for supportive thoughts on how caregiving changes us forever:
Helpful Tools:
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories.“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose…I don’t want it to end.” …Craig William Dayton, Film Composer
Stay connected with Memoryboard: Designed by caregivers. Memoryboard helps families share reminders, messages, updates, and photos on an easy-to-use screen designed for people with dementia. Peace of mind for families, independence for loved ones.
Wetness indicator and alert to help manage incontinence with dignity. SenecaSense Home: Discreet Support That Restores Comfort and Confidence
Leslie Kernisan, MD, MPH, has opened up support! View two free caregiving webinars that can help you help your older parents (and yourself).
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN: The premium incontinence brand caregivers love: They save work! Now Available on Amazon.
