Neighbor Asks if She Should Alert Woman’s Absent Family about Cognitive Changes
Dear Carol: I’ve lived next door to a woman for over twenty years, and while we aren’t close, we’re friendly and occasionally get together to chat. We did that yesterday, and I noticed what appears to be a significant decline in her cognition. She seemed lethargic, distracted, and forgetful enough that she kept repeating what she’d said a few minutes earlier. I hadn’t had coffee with her for several weeks, yet this change seems dramatic for such a short time. I asked her if she felt well, and she said she was fine, but it sure didn’t seem that she was. She even looked bad physically. I have contact information for her family, but they’ve never been very friendly toward me. Still, something could be wrong with my friend, and I think her family should know. Am I just being a nosy woman, or should I notify the family regardless of how they receive the information? – TL
Dear TL: While outsiders can make incorrect judgments about caregiving situations, that doesn’t appear to be the case here. You’re simply a kind neighbor who apparently sees more of an aging adult than the family does. Since most people experience fear if they feel their cognition slipping, it’s common to deny any problem to observers. You…
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