Transitioning from Spouse to Caregiver Presents a Confusing Dynamic
Dear Carol: My husband and I have been together for 59 years and married 56. He’s in his sixth year after a dementia diagnosis. Overall, it’s been a good marriage. During the first years, my husband was aware of his cognitive decline, and while frustration was common, he remained a loving partner. Now, that’s changed; he’s in denial. He thinks he can climb on the roof to fix the gutters, get his driver’s license back, and invest in what I view as risky “opportunities”. How do I keep both of us safe while I cope with this disconnect? ~SJ
Dear SJ: You’re experiencing a kind of pain that is unique to long-married couples. This person, who was once a partner, now needs your supervision and care. Of course, this happens in parent care, as well, but with couples, this dramatically alters the dynamic of their relationship. At this point, spouses must learn to use language that can reassure and validate the person living with dementia. It’s important to reassure them as valuable…
Helpful Tools:
Stay connected with Memoryboard: Designed by caregivers. Memoryboard helps families share reminders, messages, updates, and photos on an easy-to-use screen designed for people with dementia. Peace of mind for families, independence for loved ones.
Wetness indicator and alert to help manage incontinence with dignity. SenecaSense Home: Discreet Support That Restores Comfort and Confidence
Leslie Kernisan, MD, MPH, has opened up support! View two free caregiving webinars that can help you help your older parents (and yourself).
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN: The premium incontinence brand caregivers love: They save work! Now Available on Amazon.
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories: “…This book is for all of us; let it help you cope! Thank you to the author and everyone she spoke with!” …Dolores
