End-of-life

Hindsight Can Be a Blessing or a Curse for Caregivers

They say hindsight is 20/20. But things from the past that may seem “clear” to you now can still be distorted by difficult emotions—especially...

This indoor image shows an older woman with short, curly, redish brown hair and dark rimmed glassed. hes got her fingers pressed against the sides of her forehead and is looking down, forehead creased, and sad. her clothing is dark but she's wearing a turqouoise necklace and a small bracelet on each bare arm.

Making It Through Holidays with Grief and Loss in Our Hearts

Dear Carol: I’m a new widow dreading all the Christmas hoopla and yearly optimism of a New Year. Planning Christmas presents for my grandkids...

The background is a blurred outdoor view. In the foreground, we see a women's had and shoulders from the back with only a slight view of her ear and cheek. She has salt and pepper chin-length bobbed hair and is wearing a dark gray sweater. Her head is bowed forward in grief.

When a Caregiver Secretly Wishes It Would All End

Most caregivers are decent folks who care deeply about their elderly parents, spouses, and other loved ones who require their assistance. As so many...

The indoor setting shows two women sitting on a beige couch with white alls in the background. One the left is an older woman with her head turned. She has short gray hair and is wearing a cream colored blouse. By her side is a young woman with long brown hair in a low ponytail. She is wearing medium blue scrubs and has stethoscope hanging around her neck.

Calling On Hospice Care Doesn’t Mean You Gave Up

A billboard in my city carries a simple message: “Most families say, ‘Why did we wait so long to call hospice?’ “ When I...

Second-Guessing Ourselves Is Part of the Caregiving Experience

Dear Carol: Over years of caring for my husband who had a combination of vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s, I found myself gradually becoming less...

Having ‘The Talk’: How to Discuss End-of-Life Issues with Parents

Sex and death: It’s odd that these two topics of conversation should bring so much anxiety to parents and children. One addresses the beginning...

The closeup image only shows the torsos of the people. ON the left is a medical person with a purpose sthoscope around their neck. The person is holding their arm bent and hand out to support a women show is weraing a red and white checked, long-sleeved blouose. She has her hand clasped over the supporting person's wrist.

Confusion About Palliative Services Vs. Hospice Care Is Understandable

Dear Carol: After caring for my mom for years, I moved her to memory care due to her dementia. At 93, she is fading....

The image has a dark indoor background. In the foreground is an older woman with darker, wrinkled sking and very short white hair. She's wearing brown rimmed glasses and a top that has blue and white sleeves and trim with a deep red vest like shoulder. Her expression shows her eyes turning left and her mouth as if she's speaking bitter words.

Caring for Aging Parents Who Didn’t Care for You

Years ago, a journalist (we’ll call her Nancy) requested an interview with me to discuss common caregiving issues for an article she was writing....

Image shows a younger man with dark hair and a trimmed beard. His eldows are resting on a table, with his hands folded in fron of his mouth. He's leaning into his hands with his eyes closed, as if thinking hard or praying.

Caregiver Guilt: How to Stop Feeling Guilty About Aging Parents

Get used to it – the guilt, I mean. The incessant phone call thing was just one of the many games I had to...

An older man sitts on the left, looking at a younger woman who is smiling at him as if explaining something. The man has gray hair and is wearing a beige shirt. The woman has long brown hair tied in a low ponytail. She's wearing blue scrubs and has a stethoscope around her neck.

Hospice Care: Help During End Stages of Life

One day while I was working at my newspaper job, the phone rang. It was the head nurse at Dad’s nursing home. “Carol, we...