How to Keep Seniors Active and Engaged
I recently spoke with a caregiver named Ann who was struggling with how to adapt to life as a caregiver. For the last several decades, Ann has had no problem loading her dishwasher, washing her clothes or making her bed. That is, until her widowed father moved in with her and her family. Now, her father follows her and her husband Jim around the house, telling them how things should be done. Ann just doesn’t know how to handle it graciously. Sound familiar?
At first, the arrangement seemed perfect for everyone. After Ann’s mother died, her dad knew he should sell his house, but he didn’t want to move into an apartment in a senior living community. He felt he still had too much energy. Ann and Jim, even with their two teenagers, had plenty of room and thought Ann’s father could help out at home.
Unfortunately, that is the problem: He helps too much. Ann’s dad used to own his own business and managed many employees. He had been very successful, but after he retired, Ann’s mom used to complain that he wanted to run the house. At the time, Ann didn’t think much of it, but now all the “advice” and criticism is getting old. Ann tries to be patient but honestly doesn’t know what to do with her dad.
What he needs is direction. He has retired from a successful career and his wife is gone. He is still healthy but isn’t fulfilled by golf games and walks outside. He wants to make a difference. As he struggles to find meaning and value in this new stage of life, he’s driving his family nuts.
The first thing I suggested to Ann was to urge her dad to contact the hospice organization that cared for her mother and inquire about volunteering for them. Most hospice volunteers say they get more out of it than the people they help. They spend time with terminally ill patients and their families and generally form close bonds with the people they’re caring for under the guidance of hospice professionals. Talk about a reason to get out of bed in the morning! And that’s exactly what Ann’s dad needs: a sense of purpose.
Volunteering for hospice isn’t for everyone, but there are so many other helpful things seniors can do to feel important and enrich their lives and the lives of others. Many join SCORE (Previously known as the Service Corps of Retired Executives) to mentor small business owners. SCORE volunteers have a lifetime of experience behind them that they can use to help others. The Retired and Senior Volunteer Program (RSVP) is another option that offers countless volunteer opportunities, such as mentoring children, providing companionship to homebound seniors and assisting victims of natural disasters.
It’s important to understand that most elders like Ann’s dad are not driving their family members crazy on purpose. They simply need something new to work towards. Finding an…
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