Not Everyone Is Cut Out to Be a Caregiver
Each of us is unique, with our own talents and flaws. Often, our so-called faults are merely ways in which we differ from society’s ever-changing expectations.
For example, it used to be a given that married couples would have children if possible. Currently, a significant number of couples are choosing to be childfree. Are they selfish? No. They simply know what they want out of their lives and understand that being parents probably isn’t the best choice for them or their potential children.
Similarly, some people have the insight to recognize that they wouldn’t be able to provide daily hands-on care for a beloved parent. They may have spent decades building careers that they love with the support and encouragement of the parents who now need help at home. They may be people to whom patience does not come naturally or abundantly. Perhaps nurturing is simply not their strong suit. Not everyone is a natural caregiver.
Do these qualities make them bad people? No. Selfish people? Again, no.
Being a Caregiver Should Be a Choice (even if it’s not what we’d have chosen in a perfect world):
Most individuals who choose not to be primary caregivers simply don’t have the characteristics, time or resources needed to sustain the daily provision of long-term care for a vulnerable adult. It’s likely that these people truly love their parents and, even if they don’t have a solid relationship, they at least feel moral concern for their well-being.
Just because someone decides against personally providing total care to a loved one doesn’t necessarily constitute indifference or abandonment. Many will visit, arrange other sources of…
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“An inspiring read for caregivers! Minding Our Elders is a series of stories about caregiving. But it is much more than that. It’s a book that helps us view aging and community through the lens of someone well versed in eldercare. Author Carol Bradley Bursack has been a caregiver for a neighbor and six elderly members of her family. These experiences made her the perfect person to interview and share the stories of friends and acquaintances. Through crisp writing and a sharp focus, we enter the lives of those struggling to care for loved ones with dementia and other age-related illnesses. As I read Minding Our Elders, I felt myself filling up with both appreciation and admiration for those who adopt the caregiving role. In addition, I was struck with the inherent value Carol sees in our elders. This is a well-written book that will stir your heart!” …Ann C
